


On You Will Go

by safelikespringtime



Series: Oh, The Places You'll Go! [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Episode: s04e24 Amplification, Hurt Spencer Reid, M/M, N-B Spencer Reid, Non-Binary Spencer Reid, Season 4 episode 24, Season/Series 04, Spencer Reid is a dad, Worried Derek Morgan, non-canon non-binary character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safelikespringtime/pseuds/safelikespringtime
Summary: “Don’t give me any lip, either,” Mariam scolded, glancing back towards Theo, “Spencer says goodbye to that boy every time they drop him at my door. No matter the time, the day, they wake him up and they say goodbye and that they love him. Don’t you think Theo’s last memory of his Da should be that? Not them dying in some hospital bed?”***To put it short, Spencer is a parent, Morgan is worried he won't make it. Title taken from 'Oh, the Places You'll Go' by Dr. Seuss.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Series: Oh, The Places You'll Go! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837858
Comments: 16
Kudos: 133





	On You Will Go

**Author's Note:**

> A massive thank you to @dreamsofaplantboy for proof reading for me, ilu boob <3
> 
> \--is heavily reliant on dialogue so if you're not big on it, probably don't read :)

“Talk to me baby girl,” Morgan’s voice came through the phone deflated and with none of the spark that usually accompanied those words.  
“Reid just called me, Derek,” Penelope breathed quietly, her eyes flicking up as someone walked past her office, “He’s in pretty bad shape, got me to record a final message for his mother.” The words were like a hot knife being driven into his chest, he could see Reid moving around the room upstairs and it killed him inside being unable to be with his partner, to help them through this. It was taking everything in him to not throw on one of the protective suits and join them, just so he could be there and hold them, reassure them. He knew Reid would be overthinking, and he knew they definitely weren’t about to take anything for the pain they were in.  
“Did Reid get you to record something for anyone else?” Derek asked, trying—and failing—to stop his voice from quivering.  
“Who else is there?”  
Derek’s fingers tightened on the phone, his eyes darting back up to the window before he let out a shaky breath, “Spence has a son,” his whispered into the phone. It killed him breaking the promise he’d made to not tell anyone about Theo – unless I’m on my death bed – they’d said. And Morgan _hoped_. He hoped beyond hope that Spencer wouldn’t die from this, but the amount of anthrax that had been inhaled…if they didn’t figure out something and soon, it could be fatal, and they just couldn’t be sure what might happen from here. And if Spencer was scared enough that it warranted a recorded message for Diana, there was even less time than Morgan had hoped there’d be.  
Penelope was quiet. Too quiet.  
“Baby girl?”  
“He’s a dad?” Penelope finally managed to squeak out the question. Under any other circumstances she would’ve been all over the news, cooing and picturing Spencer cuddling with a little child, reading them all sorts of books they didn’t understand, teaching them to play the piano. But right now all the news did was cause her stomach to churn. Spencer had only turned 27 earlier that year. The kid couldn’t be more than ten and now there was a chance they’d lose their father.  
“They…” Derek mumbled.  
“What do you mean, they, Derek?”  
Derek glanced at the window again, he didn’t want to break Spencer’s trust, it wasn’t his place to out them if they weren’t ready. “I think we need to call Spence.”

“How’s it going in there, kid?” Derek asked quietly when Spencer answered the call.  
Spencer cleared their throat, but their words still came out cracked, their voice more fragile than Derek would’ve liked, “I’ve seen better days…”  
“You’ve got me and Garcia…” Derek paused as Garcia greeted them, his chest tightening at the sound of Spencer struggling against coughs. “Hey, stick with me here, Reid, breathe.” It was quiet on the other end before Spencer managed a strangled breath, Derek letting out one that he hadn’t realised he was holding. “Should I be calling Mariam so you can talk to Theo?”  
“I don’t want him to worry,” Reid breathed, “I don’t want either of them to worry. And I…” they began coughing again, and Derek couldn’t stop his own little whimper at how much pain they sounded to be in.  
“Baby, listen to me,” Derek murmured, ignoring the fact that Garcia was on the line and could hear anything he said—they weren’t necessarily hiding their relationship, but they certainly weren’t officially public with it yet, “I won’t make you talk to them if you don’t want to, I just need for you to try your hardest in there, right? Because I love you and I can’t finish today if my partner doesn’t come home with me. And I really can’t go tell Theo that his Da isn’t coming home... So what have you found? Prentiss and Rossi don’t think the partner was a co-worker. Can you tell us anything else about him?”  
“I’ve already been through everything…” Reid managed out quietly, “I don’t know.”  
“Baby, I know you’re not thinking straight right now but the Reid I know, wouldn’t stop looking.”

***

It was like the world turned grey, one second Reid was getting hosed down and making jokes about being naked in front of a group of women and the next second their condition was deteriorating, the anthrax was in their blood and the hospital was ‘doing there best’. Morgan had pulled out of the investigation immediately, he knew his head wouldn’t be clear enough to be of assistance, and after notifying Hotch of Reid’s son, Hotch allowed it before heading down into the Subway. He didn’t want to question the abilities of the hospital staff, and he knew that Reid had a higher chance of survival than the other victims of Chad Brown’s crimes. But he couldn’t help the stirring fear in the pit of his stomach. Any other time Spencer ended up in the hospital or at the hands of a medical professional after a case, Morgan had been by their side from the moment he was allowed through ‘til the moment Spencer was released. Hell, Derek could remember after one case he’d almost fought one of the nurses for telling him he needed to leave so Spencer could rest. They weren’t even dating at the time. Now he had to consider Theo and how seeing them might affect him. It was a whole new experience, and quite honestly, he didn’t think he wanted to go through it again.

“Mariam, it’s Derek,” he called, knocking on the door to Spencer’s neighbours apartment. She was an older black woman, lived in the floor above Reid, and had been a lifesaver when it came to taking care of Theo at last minute notice. Derek loved her, on their second meeting she’d joked she would formally adopt one or both of them as her own if they weren’t careful—of course that idea was nixed the moment she realised that the term _partners_ was relevant for more than just work.  
Mariam unlocked the door, her eyes immediately fearful at the fact that it was Derek here without Spencer, “Is Dr Reid alright?” she asked quietly, glancing back towards the living room where a children’s television program could be heard playing.  
Derek’s bottom lip twitched, but he maintained his calm, “They’re in the hospital. They inhaled a bunch of toxins—saved my life, but I’m scared they might lose theirs as a result. I wanted to bring Theo to see his Da…just in case.”  
Mariam reached up—a stretch for the woman who barely passed 5’3—to touch either side of Derek’s face, “Did they ask you to bring him? Or are you doing this of your own volition, boy?”  
The motherly touch was like a key in a lock and suddenly his eyes that he’d managed to keep dry all day, were overflowing with silent tears. “I don’t want Theo’s Da to just not come home.”  
“Derek Morgan, you listen to me and you listen to me good,” Mariam tutted, her touch on his cheeks changing to a firm grip. “You watched your father die when you were a boy, do you really want the same for Theo?”  
Derek’s lips parted to protest, it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t the same.  
“Don’t give me any lip, either,” Mariam scolded, glancing back towards Theo, “Spencer says goodbye to that boy every time they drop him at my door. No matter the time, the day, they wake him up and they say goodbye and that they love him. Don’t you think Theo’s last memory of his Da should be that? Not them dying in some hospital bed?”  
A squeal broke any further conversation, before a curly haired toddler was colliding with Derek’s legs, “Deck!”  
Derek smiled, scooping Theo up from in front of them, tossing him in the air with ease, “Hey there little man, look at you. Aunty Mariam giving you too much candy again?” he chattered, kissing at his cheeks as the boy landed giggling back in his arms.  
Mariam gave him a pointed look, making her way into the kitchen to prepare some coffee for them.  
“Deck, where’s Da?” Theo asked, snuggling into his chest.  
Derek’s heart clenched, Theo was just like Spencer in every way imaginable. He had their same light brown messy curls, same brown eyes that looked hazel in the sun. He cuddled in the same way, had the same laugh, slept the same position…everything. It was endearing, every time they spent time together the three of them, Derek would notice another thing similar about the pair.  
“Your Da, they’re still at work,” he murmured, tucking his face into the curls, taking a deep breath—hell, they even smelt the same—for the comfort of it. “But I missed my best boy, had to come visit you as soon as possible, hmm?”

It was an hour later that the phone call came in, Spencer was going to be okay, they were still asleep, and would probably be in the hospital another day or so, but they were stable. Derek gathered up Theo and his things, thanking Mariam a thousand times over before carrying the toddler down to his car. Within minutes he had the car seat set up and was pulling out of the lot to head towards the hospital.

***

_“And then things start to happen,  
don’t worry. Don’t stew.  
Just go right along.  
You’ll start happening too.  
Oh!  
The places you’ll go!  
You’ll be on your way up!  
You’ll be seeing great sights!  
You’ll join the high fliers  
who soar to high heights”_

The hospital lights were bright against Spencer’s eyes, and their nose was invaded with all sorts of chemicals as they awoke sometime later, in the corner they could hear the familiar sounds of Derek reading Dr. Seuss to Theo in the corner, and forced their vision to focus against the stark white of the room to make out their family. A small smile rested on their lips, and they remained silent, watching the way that Derek interacted with their son. Initially, they’d been terrified to reveal him – Theo was Spencer’s best kept secret, the less people who knew about him, the less chance he’d be used against them—they worked for the FBI, for fucks sake – but seeing the way Theo was so easily engaged in anything Morgan had to say, the way the moment Derek had found out Theo’s namesake he’d insisted on reading nothing but Dr. Seuss books to him…Spencer didn’t regret a moment of it. They stayed silent as the book continued, until the end passage remained.

“ _Kid, you’ll move mountains_ ,” they broke their silence, causing both Derek and Theo to look up, Derek’s gaze softening, as Theo squirmed to go to his Da.  
Derek quickly manoeuvred them to the bed, setting Theo beside Spencer on the bed, the boy snuggling close to them, and took the plastic chair closest for himself  
“ _So…  
be your name Buxbaum, or Bixby, or Bray,  
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,  
You’re off to great places!  
Today is your day!  
Your mountain is waiting.  
So get on your way!”_

They finished the book together, Morgan punctuating it with a stolen kiss to Spencer’s lips. “How are you feeling?”  
Spencer’s fingers carded lightly through Theo’s hair, who was more than content to lay quietly against his parent’s chest now they were awake. “I’m okay. How long have you been here?”  
With the book now discarded on the floor by the bed, Morgan used both his hands to wrap around Spencer’s free one, “Long enough,” he murmured, “you had me worried there, baby. I had to…” his eyes flickered to Theo, chest tightening at the very idea of the words he was saying, “had to spill your secret, just in case…”  
Spencer gave him a tired smile, fingers clutching to their partners, “You did what you thought was right. Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you'd like me to write a prologue to this -- Spencer introducing Theo to Derek. Or a Part 2 -- Spencer coming out to the rest of the team or Derek and Spencer getting engaged or something. Comment below if you'd like a part two, and what you'd like! I'm willing.


End file.
